


Soldier of Love

by mukario



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Other, Reader-Insert, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukario/pseuds/mukario
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic based off the song Soldier of Love by Emmelie de Forest. Lithuania x Reader.<br/>(reuploaded from WattPad)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soldier of Love

_Do you think that we can grow?_

_Do you think that we can grow in the same way?_

_Do you think that we can know?_

_I don’t think that this is ever gonna change_

     You glanced over at Toris, your childhood friend. He had definitely matured more than you, and he was more responsible. You, on the other hand, still acted childish, and you wanted to hold on to that as long as you could. You didn’t wanna grow up, yet Toris seemed like he already did. And because of that, you felt yourself drifting from him.

     He became closer to his friend Eduard, who was equally as serious. He took charge very well, and you could tell that Toris admired him. He eventually began to spend more time with Toris, which left less time for you.

     You sat on a bench with him. He looked bored, and kept looking around at the trees surrounding you. It was almost awkward. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what to do without looking too childish. He grew up faster than you and you didn’t know what to do.

_Cause you will not love me now_

_You won’t love me though I beg you to_

_And I am bleeding out_

     In short, you loved him. You have for a long time.

     You spend the majority of your time with him when you were younger. He always protected you from bullies, made you feel better, and even let you do girly things to him like paint his nails or braid his hair. You wanted to be with him all the time. You wanted him to hold you and say everything would be okay, that he still cared about you and he would still spare time for you. But he was more focused on other things now, like Eduard. You wanted him to love you like you loved him. But you couldn’t tell him. You stayed quiet. But when you were alone, you would let your emotions bleed out by crying or punching your pillow. It wasn’t fair.

_This war is in my head and in my heart_

_A soldier of love_

_These words you say are tearing me apart_

_A soldier of love_

     You convinced yourself that he didn’t love you. You convinced yourself that he was still holding on to you out of pity, because you had no one else.

     You worked up the courage to confront him about it. You walked up to him one day, your fists clenched and a sad look on your face.

     “Do you still care about me?”

     He was taken aback by what you said, but he quickly tried to assure you that he did. But his tone made you think otherwise.

     After all, he had more serious things to do.

     Before he could say much, he had to leave to go discuss something with Eduard and his friend Feliks, of course.

_I can’t keep on fighting_

_A soldier of love_

_I can’t keep on fighting_

     You felt like giving up. Toris was all you had, and he was slipping away. You didn’t know what to do without him; he usually kept you in line with all of your childish antics. You depended on him to be there for you, to help you be happy.

 

_I know that I can bend_

_I know that I can bend as far as you_

_And my spine is giving in_

_It’s been twisted into shapes I never knew_

     Toris had a reason for being so serious all of a sudden.

     He had been living with a family friend, Ivan, but he was treated more like a slave than a guest. Ivan forced him to do chores and occasionally whipped him, causing deep scars to appear on his back. You were unaware of this, and he wanted it that way. He had to act proper for Ivan, and goofing off was not an option. He eventually made friends with Eduard and Raivis, who were in the same situation as him. Raivis was a few years younger and tended to speak his mind, which often got him in trouble, but Eduard was calmer and taught Toris how to act more serious.

     He didn’t want you to worry. He could feel the scars getting worse and at one point his back looked like he had been hit with a chainsaw. But he bit his tongue and hid it from you.

_Cause you cannot love me now_

_You can’t love me though you wish you could_

_And I am bleeding out_

     He thought you didn’t love him. You were quieter around him, rather than your usually outgoing self. He loved you more than anyone, and was afraid of being rejected. He thought you would be afraid of his scars, or you would find out about Ivan. He could think of endless reasons not to love him.

     And occasionally, he would vent to Eduard about all of this. He would tell you that he was discussing something important with him, when he just cried and ranted about how you would never return his feelings.

_This war is in my head and in my heart_

_A soldier of love_

_These words you say are tearing me apart_

_A soldier of love_

     “Do you still care about me?”

     He was surprised when you said that. It hit him deep in his heart; you doubted that he cared? He quickly tried to explain that he did care, but left out the part about loving you. He didn’t know what to say. He said he had to go discuss something with Eduard and Feliks, and the look in your eyes gave him a tinge of guilt in his stomach. He went to Feliks’s house, and Eduard was there. Toris broke down.

_I can’t keep on fighting_

_A soldier of love_

_I can’t keep on fighting_

_Fighting_

     He sobbed into Feliks’s shirt. He wanted you to love him. He wanted to hold you and say everything would be okay. He wanted to show you his scars. He wanted to always be with you. He wanted to tell you the truth. He wanted you.

     Eduard and Feliks tried their best to comfort him. They tried to start a conversation, hoping to get Toris’s mind off of you, but he only said “I give up” and went back to crying.

 

_No, you cannot love me now_

_You can't love me and you never could_

_And I am losing ground_

_I can't make you feel the way you should_

     You sighed on the bench. He had more important people to worry about, like Feliks, Raivis and Eduard. You thought you were only a burden to him.

     He noticed your discomfort. “Is there something wrong?”

     You shifted your eyes the other way.

     “There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”

     “I could say the same for you,” you snapped. “Not like you care.”

     “What are you upset about?” he asked gently.

     “Don’t worry about it.”

     “But I’m worried-”

     “Yeah, you’re worried,  _my ass_ ,” you said sarcastically, standing up as you raised your voice. “You don’t even care anymore; you don’t hang out with me anymore. You’re too uptight and busy with Eduard to care. You just stopped worrying about me a while ago; I just wanted to hang on to you.” You sat down and your voice lowered. “You have no idea how much it sucks loving someone who doesn’t love you back. And there’s nothing I can do.”

     “Actually,” Toris said with a smile. “I know exactly how that feels like.”

     Without warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips on to yours. Tears stung your eyes and you were too stunned to move, but you didn’t protest. He pulled away and a light pink color dusted his cheeks.

     “Do you...”

     “Yeah,” Toris cut you off. “I guess I have some explaining to do?”

_This war was in my head and in my heart_

_These words you said were tearing me apart_

     You and Toris had retreated to your house. No one was home except for the two of you. He took off his jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt.

     “You sure you want to show me?” you asked hesitantly.

     “Positive,” he replied with a soft smile, and let the shirt fall off of his shoulders.

_I can keep on fighting_

_A soldier of love_

     You gasped at the sight. His back was covered in red lines; some went deep into his skin. There were also plenty of scratches and bruises. You walked forward and traced your hand over one of the scars. Fighting tears, you hugged him from behind.

_I can keep on fighting_

_A soldier of love_

_Fighting_


End file.
